/* Murphy's Laws on Love - Converted to Arexx by Zonkerz */
xx=random(1,72,time('s'))
select
when xx=1 then a="All the good ones are taken. "
when xx=2 then a="If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. "
when xx=3 then a="The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you."
when xx=4 then a="Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. "
when xx=5 then a="The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. "
when xx=6 then a="Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position. "
when xx=7 then a="The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it. "
when xx=8 then a="Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction. "
when xx=9 then a="Nice guys(girls) finish last. "
when xx=10 then a="If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. "
when xx=11 then a="Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else."
when xx=12 then a="The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. "
when xx=13 then a="Nothing improves with age. "
when xx=14 then a="No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. "
when xx=15 then a="Sex has no calories. "
when xx=16 then a="Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. "
when xx=17 then a="There is no remedy for sex but more sex. "
when xx=18 then a="Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. "
when xx=19 then a="No sex with anyone in the same office. "
when xx=20 then a="Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. "
when xx=21 then a="A man in the house is worth two in the street. "
when xx=22 then a="If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. "
when xx=23 then a="Virginity can be cured. "
when xx=24 then a="When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him. "
when xx=25 then a="Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. "
when xx=26 then a="The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later. "
when xx=27 then a="Sex is dirty only if it's done right. "
when xx=28 then a="It is always the wrong time of month. "
when xx=29 then a="The best way to hold a man is in your arms. "
when xx=30 then a="When the lights are out, all women are beautiful. "
when xx=31 then a="Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. "
when xx=32 then a="Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure. "
when xx=33 then a="The younger the better. "
when xx=34 then a="The game of love is never called off on account of darkness. "
when xx=35 then a="It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden. "
when xx=36 then a="Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly. "
when xx=37 then a="Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs. "
when xx=38 then a="There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it. "
when xx=39 then a="Love your neighbor, but don't get caught. "
when xx=40 then a="Love is a hole in the heart. "
when xx=41 then a="If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon. "
when xx=42 then a="Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics. "
when xx=43 then a="Do it only with the best. "
when xx=44 then a="Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning. "
when xx=45 then a="One good turn gets most of the blankets. "
when xx=46 then a="You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. "
when xx=47 then a="Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. "
when xx=48 then a="It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. "
when xx=50 then a="Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood. "
when xx=51 then a="Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you. "
when xx=52 then a="Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song. "
when xx=53 then a="Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested. "
when xx=54 then a="A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't."
when xx=55 then a="What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. "
when xx=56 then a="It is better to be looked over than overlooked. "
when xx=57 then a="Never say no. "
when xx=58 then a="A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her. "
when xx=59 then a="Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps. "
when xx=60 then a="Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone. "
when xx=61 then a="Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog. "
when xx=62 then a="A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride. "
when xx=63 then a="Love comes in spurts. "
when xx=64 then a="The world does not revolve on an axis. "
when xx=65 then a="Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant. "
when xx=66 then a="Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. "
when xx=67 then a="Don't do it if you can't keep it up. "
when xx=68 then a="There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love. "
when xx=69 then a="Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight. "
when xx=70 then a="Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. "
when xx=71 then a="This won't hurt, I promise."
when xx=72 then a="Nothing improves with age."
when xx=49 then a="An ex-wife/husband will alway's be 'till death do us part'."
